I was dumbfounded people lack this awareness…
Last week, I had a virtual meet-up with someone for a potential collaboration.
The first minute was promising: We exchanged big smiles and settled into a conversation.
But then when he started talking, he just didn’t stop.
After almost 10 minutes, I thought I would let him keep going and see when he’d realised that he was just talking at me.
Almost 20 minutes later, he was still going, until I interrupted him.
I said “Hey [name], thanks for sharing this with me! Wow, what a story. I’ve got my eye on the time so let’s chat about the plans for this project and get back to this afterwards if we get time?”
Spoiler alert: We did not have time and we did not go back to his monologue about everything yet nothing, lol.
In a conversation, the speaker is not the only person who carries control.
In fact, the greatest authority is often in the person who is listening, because they can read the other person better than they can read you if they are talking.
And as a listener, you can still steer the conversation.
If someone won’t stop talking at you, you can take control by:
- Nodding fast and continuously to signal the other person to wrap up
- Letting your mouth drop open (like a fish out of water) to signal you want to say something
- Saying things like “Great” “Ok” “Mmhm” to regain space in the conversation as you prepare to interject
Listening is not a passive activity. You are still just as engaged in taking control of the interaction to maintain your authority.
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No more being undervalued or overlooked for opportunities just because of the way you talk. I gotchu!
Trang Nova ✨
