So many of my clients come to me struggling to say no to client requests, manager demands or even simple favours from friends or family.
They are scared to say no in a direct way because it might lose them relationships or offend people.
However, I’m telling you, the most kind thing that you can do is to be honest with someone. You then avoid any miscommunication or any tiptoeing around the elephant in the room.
When you are direct, people can clearly understand what your intention is.
To do that, don’t over justify why you’re saying no – That screams like you’re asking for permission.
Don’t apologize and say sorry – That makes it easier for them to try talk you out of your no.
Here are some examples of how you can say no in a direct, but friendly way:
Keep it simple and concise:
“Hey, thank you for thinking of me. However, that is something that I can’t do right now”
Note: Say ‘however’ not ‘but’, because ‘but’ is an eraser and cancels out the nice thing you started off with)
Note #2: Start with a ‘thank you’ to show the other person that you are appreciative. It softens what will come next.
Say ‘I don’t’, rather than ‘I can’t’ to highlight that this is non-negotiable:
“I don’t do free coaching sessions, appreciate the suggestion though!”
Express your moral reasoning:
“Every time I say yes to something, I have to say no to something else. And at this point in time, time with family is my priority so I have to say no unfortunately”.
Offer an alternative way to fulfil their request:
“Thanks for suggesting to catch up for dinner together! I’m actually hosting a group gathering next Thursday – would you like to join us for that?”
Offer a replacement person:
“This isn’t for me at this stage, however, I know x person who would be fantastic in my place, Would you like me to connect you two?”
Make a joke about how tempted you are:
“I’m someone to say yes to everything and it’s come to bite me in the past when I’ve gotten super burnt out, so I need to be responsible and say no This time. Thank you anyway”
Share your regret to make the other person feel special:
“I can’t do it this time, even though I know I’ll be kicking myself later for it. All the best!”
Say no but leave the door open to your relationship:
“I will pass on this. I’d still love to hear how it goes once it’s finished though, keep me updated!”
Start with a statement of transparency so they are prepared to let down their walls:
“I have to be honest… This is simply out of reach for what we can do for you”
Want more?
The Speak With Authority System™ is the structured communication framework for people who want to be respected and sound credible anytime they speak.
It’s time to stop letting how you communicate hold you back in your career or business and learn to finally speak in a way that helps you to stop being overlooked and undervalued for your expertise!
Trang 🙂
